Holding Hands and...Almost Kissing....

Hey everyone!  I'm back!  Sorry I've held this story off for so long as things have been crazy, as I'm sure most of you know.  I want to keep the story going though so this post will talk about my third and fourth date with Joshua.  They were quite interesting, especially the fourth one so hang tight and enjoy!

As I read through my journal I realized I waited an entire week to go out with Joshua again.  A lot happened in between that time as my sister Sarah had her baby Aidan and my sister Emily and my mom were in town so I spent most of my time with them.  After everything settled down Joshua wanted to do a movie night with me and we figured the best place was in my apartment lounge.  He invited his friend Taylor to come along and they were going to have another one of their friends come along (he didn't come til later).  We watched "The Dark Knight" since Joshua and I both talked about how much we both liked Batman so we had to see it together.  Well, they came and not too far into the movie there was a moment where I think Joshua was hinting that he wanted to hold hands but I didn't do anything about it.  That didn't last long since he just grabbed my hand and we held hands the entire movie.  In past experience after holding hands the first time the boy usually doesn't keep holding your hand.  Joshua was different and even while we were walking back to my apartment he insisted on holding my hand.  I was impressed by that and I felt his sincerity in his actions that made me even more attracted to him.  It felt good holding his hand so I was glad that he wanted to keep doing it.  We made arrangements to go out again that coming Thursday.  I was excited and we said good night and he made the 50 minute drive back to Basalt with Taylor.

Thursday came and I had agreed to meet Joshua in Idaho Falls so that we could go to the cheap theater and watch the movie "Hercules" and eat dinner.  As expected, Joshua held hands with me the whole date and I was glad for it.  Dinner was good and the movie was...alright.  I remember being glad he didn't have to spend tons of money on that for us.  After the movie I remember him commenting to me about his mustache and how he had trimmed it.  He wanted to know if I had noticed it and I had to disappoint him by telling him I had not.  I got a gentle impression that he was hinting at something and it made me grin to myself a little bit because of it.  He drove me back to my car that was parked at the temple and let me out of the suburban.  He walked me to the car and while I was saying good-bye to him I remember looking up at his face an knowing instantly he wanted to kiss me.  You girls know the look and it terrified me.  Be it known I hadn't really kissed anyone before so I did what any cowardly girl would do.  When he went for it I put my head down making it so he couldn't do it and I hugged him instead.  I told him, "Not yet" and he hugged me back and kissed me on the forehead instead.  He told me it was okay, opened the door for me and hugged me again when I got into the car.  As I drove away I started to freak out and called my best friend Chanda.  She calmed me down by telling me it was okay to move a bit slow if I wanted to.  Boy was I silly, but I'm glad Joshua was patient with me.

Well, that's quite a bit of story time so that'll be all until next time!  I'll write again soon!

Our Second Date

After having so much fun with Joshua, Taylor, and James I wasn't surprised when Joshua asked me out for another date.  We had it arranged for Tuesday September 23rd and I was secretly excited for it.  One thing I remember was that when I was with him or when I thought about him I was happy.  I wanted to be around him for this reason and that made me excited to go out with him.

Tuesday came soon enough and it was a good day.  There was a devotional earlier that day where Jeffrey R. Holland was able to speak to us and it was amazing.  Joshua came and picked me up around 6:30 or so and we were off.  He told me he was planning on doing tin foil/hobo dinners but didn't know a good place to do it.  I had no idea either and then he said we could just do it in the parking lot at Fat Cats (our theater, bowling alley, mini golfing, billiards place in Rexburg).  I was a bit surprised by that idea and didn't think it was a good idea at first because I wasn't sure it would be legal to have a fire in the middle of a parking lot.  I told him that but he assured me that he wasn't going to build a fire but had the stuff to just heat up the coals and then we would make the dinners that way.  Well, needless to say I trusted him and we were off to Fat Cats to do something there while we waited for it to get dark outside.  

We first did the mini golfing there and it was fun.  We were both surprised though by how small it was and how soon we finished the course.  Since we still had some time Joshua suggested we play billiards next.  I was down for it so we got the stuff for it and played a game or two.  I don't remember who was the better of the two of us at the game but I think I won at least once. :)  During the game I remember us talking about a lot of different things.  I found it easy to talk to him and it wasn't awkward at all.  Even the conversation we had about age differences still makes me laugh a bit.  I remember him telling me that he was good with marrying anyone between the ages of 15-30.  Good for him, I thought. ;)

After playing billiards we figured it was dark enough to start our dinners.  We parked the suburban in a more open area of the parking lot and Joshua got all the stuff out to make them.  He filled what he called a chimney with charcoal and put tons of lighter fluid on it.  He pulled out the matches and before he lit one off he asked if I wanted to do it.  I told him heck yeah! and then I proceeded to light the charcoal.  It took a while but we finally got the coals hot enough to cook the dinners on and while we waited we just sat in comfy camping chairs and talked.  While we talked I remember people driving by and giving us odd looks.  One particular guy went all out and just stared at us.  I laughed when I saw Joshua stare right back at him and give him a peculiar look as well.  It was pretty awesome. :)

After the dinner Joshua told me about a hammock he had in his suburban he wanted to try out, so he took it out and tied one end to the top of the suburban and the other end to a light post.  It worked great and we sat in it and kept on talking.  I could tell he wanted to hold my hand but I wasn't having it.  I kept my arms folded and didn't move a muscle.  When that didn't work he tried putting his arm around me but it was a bit uncomfortable for me just the way he did it.  Although that was the case, I didn't really help him get it comfortable so he took his arm away and we just kept sitting and talking.  Poor boy, I was no help at all.

After a bit we decided to pack up and head out.  I remember while we were packing up that we saw a huge bug and we didn't know what it was.  It looked like a mix between a massive cockroach and a june bug.  It was nasty.  I think we ended up kicking it away but it always made its way back to where we were.  I just remember thinking it was funny.  

Once we were done packing up he took me home and dropped me off.  We said good-bye and that was the end of it.  Not bad for our second date right? :)  Now, stay tuned for more to come!

Us on the date :)

After the break

During the seven week break I had worked hard for my parents by doing some jobs at a couple of apartments they manage.  Doing so I was able to make just enough money to make it back to Idaho.  To be honest I was thinking I wasn't going to make it, but I knew I had to get back to Idaho because I knew that was where I was supposed to be.  There were times when I'd be cleaning an apartment and it seemed like things just weren't going to work out.  I'd stop, look at the ceiling and say, "Okay Heavenly Father, I'm doing all I can.  If I'm supposed to be in Idaho, then please help me get there."  Those were sacred times when I would be filled with comfort, knowing that somehow He would make it possible for me to get back to Idaho.  And sure enough, He did just that.

After the break I made the trek back up to Idaho.  It was the middle of September by this time and I was under a lot of pressure.  I wouldn't be in school since I was just planning on working and saving some money for school in January.  I had just enough money to pay for rent and the gas money back up to Idaho and maybe a bit of money for food.  Plus, I had a job interview scheduled for the 15th, the first day of school for everyone else, but I had no idea if the job was going to go through.  I went in for my interview for the job that day and I got the job!  But, I wouldn't be starting for another 2 weeks or so.  How I survived the next 4 weeks I will never know since I wouldn't get paid for another 2 weeks after I'd started.  I knew though that I had to trust in the Lord and that He knew what He was doing, which in fact He did.

As it turned out, Joshua and I texted every day when I got back to Rexburg.  He was busy working and I was busy trying not to be bored at my apartment.  I did a lot of cleaning and recuperating from the foot surgery I'd gotten during the break.  Finally, Joshua was able to find a time that we could spend some time together.  On that Friday the 19th he invited me to go to a sunflower maze with some friends of his.  I accepted and had a great time with him and his friends.  The maze was a bit lame, I won't lie, but being with Joshua made it fun.  After the maze we went with his friends Taylor and James to a little Mexican place in Rexburg and had a blast.  I felt so comfortable with all those boys and it was just what I needed.  Joshua paid for everything, which was impressive because I wasn't sure if it was a date or not since I felt like we were just hanging out with friends. One thing that I remember from that was when Joshua was ordering his food he wanted to get the bean and cheese burrito with extra cheese, but he wasn't sure if he wanted that or if he wanted to try the fish burrito.  I told him, "Come on, be adventurous."  So, as a result he got the fish burrito.  Apparently it didn't turn out so good because he still blames me for pressuring him to get that nasty fish burrito. :)

After that I went home a very happy girl.  I'd had the time of my life and I couldn't wait for the next time I'd get to spend time with them.  The next time would be just Joshua and I for our next date.

To be continued.... :)

The Seven Week Break

Now I need to describe what happened next in our little story.  To be honest it wasn't as eventful as you all would probably hope.  In fact, it didn't seem quite eventful for me at the time either.  One thing we must all learn is to never underestimate God and the small and simple things He does to help us along in our lives.  The next little bit of our story is just that - a small and simple thing called "texting".

Okay, before ya'll start doing the whole, "Texting is so lame!" bit, keep reading.  I would have to agree that in certain circumstances texting is a very lame, dumb thing that my current generation is falling back on.  BUT, I'm not going to get into that.  One thing that I forgot to mention was that after our date Joshua asked me to let him know when I made it to all of my destinations.  I thought that was thoughtful so I texted him both when I got to Utah and Arizona so that he knew I made it there safely.  This actually opened the door for him to feel better about texting me more and after a couple of days he asked me how my trip was.  We would text for a bit and he'd ask me "get to know you" questions.  It was really fun and I decided that I was going to do the same thing.  There would be a day or so when he wouldn't text me so I decided that it would be a good idea for me to text him first.  Pretty soon we were texting daily and getting to know each other that way.  During that whole seven week break this happened and I was still thinking nothing was going to really happen with this.  He became a really good friend and in my history that was as far as things usually got.  Again, I had no idea what was going to happen when I got back but I was pretty sure I would be going out with Joshua again.  When, I didn't know but I knew it would happen.  And to be honest...I was looking forward to it.

Again...to be continued....

 This is me after I got my foot surgery during the break.  

Check out that beard!  Isn't awesome?!

The First Date

Now that I've written about our first meeting, I now need to describe our first date.  The results of the date were not anything like I expected them to be.  First it needs to be understood that we met the weekend before finals and I was moving out of my apartment as well as finishing school.  After a few times of trying to call me (apparently I was busy or I didn’t want to answer an unknown number) Joshua decided to text me a couple of days after we met and asked me if I wanted to go on a date with him sometime before I left for the 7 week break.  I was leaving on Wednesday, the 23^rd of July, so I told him I’d probably be able to do it on Tuesday or Wednesday since I was too busy with finals on Monday.  We then talked about it a bit and decided Tuesday night would be perfect.  Tuesday came and it was a bad day for me for many reasons, one of them being that I had tons of stuff to move and I wouldn’t be able to go on the date that night.  I told him we’d have to do a rain check and he asked if we could still go out for lunch for just an hour on Wednesday to give me a break between cleaning and packing.  I told him that would be fine since I knew I probably would want a break. 

The next day started out in a rush.  The plan was for Miranda and me to leave for Utah by 5:00 that afternoon so we could get a good start.  That morning Miranda was on a date, I went to a friend’s birthday breakfast, and I came home frantic trying to get everything done.  I was so busy going back and forth to drop of f stuff at the storage unit my roommate Miranda and I had rented for the break.  I had just enough time to put my contacts in, put my hair up, put on a t-shirt , shorts, and tennis shoes.  Miranda came home from her date and furiously started to clean the apartment while I packed the rest of my stuff.   The date was scheduled for 1:00 so I was in a rush to get most of it done by then.  Before I knew it the time was 1:00 and I still had no makeup on and I looked like a scrounge and Joshua was calling me to see where my apartment was.  Most people had a hard time finding my apartment so I wasn't very surprised, especially since he wasn't very familiar with the area as it was.  He did find it but when he got there Miranda and I needed to move some stuff to the storage unit.  Joshua was very polite and offered to help us, and us being very smart girls took him up on it. 

We were back to the apartment soon and Joshua opened the door for me to get into his big white suburban.  As soon as he got in I apologized about how I looked because I’d never been so dressed down for a date, much less a FIRST date.  He looked at me and said very sincerely, “What are you talking about, you look fine!”  I thought he must be lying or he was just a very nice boy.   We spent some time talking about where to go and I was impressed when he said that he’d asked quite a few people where the good places were in Rexburg.  We finally decided to try Gator Jacks and were on our way.  We got there and it was pretty good and we had a good time just talking some more and enjoying our food.  I still remember him getting 2 straws for his soda, telling me he didn't know why he liked it but he did.  It was fun but a typical first date experience – a bit awkward as we tried getting to know each other.   Joshua was very much into rock climbing and I remember him talking about it a lot and trying to explain different things about holds, ropes, and belay devices.  I was impressed but at the same time concerned because I didn’t know if I liked or would like that sort of thing.   Randomly he said, “So, you got off your mission a year and a half ago right?”  I told him I had and he replied, “So, I figure you’re either 24 or 25 is that right?”  I smiled a bit and said, “Yeah I’m 25.”  He just nodded and said, “Huh, that’s not too bad.”  I had heard that line many times by different boys but from him I was surprised by the sincerity in the way he said that.  It also surprised me that he would take the time to try to figure out how old I actually was and not minding that I was a bit older than he was. 

True to his word he took me back an hour later to finish packing and cleaning.  He came up to my apartment for a bit and offered to help us finish.  We told him it was okay and then he made the 45 minute drive back to Firth.  I am still amazed that he would drive all that way just to take me out on a date that lasted an hour.  I did feel really bad about how dressed down I was and was convinced that was the end of that.  To be honest I didn't think much of the date and didn't think he’d try to contact me after that.  Boy…was I ever wrong.

To be continued... :)

I'm writing this blog post about 4 months after my last one.  Boy, when you talk about change that's what's happened in my life!  Right now I'm engaged to the most wonderful man I have ever known and I couldn't feel more blessed.  I waited for what seemed a long time but it was very worth it.  I wanted to tell you all our story of how we met and fell in love.  He fell in love quicker, but for me like the saying goes it came a bit more softly.  I love him very, very much and I wanted to start our story at the very beginning when we met.  I hope you all enjoy.  Disclaimer: this is MY side of the story. :)

It all started on the night of July 18, 2014 when I decided, reluctantly, to go to a campfire with my friend Miranda.  She had been invited by an old mission friend to his late birthday party and she asked me to go with her.  I was reluctant because it was late, I wasn't in a good mood, and I wouldn't know anyone there except her and a guy friend we were taking as well.  Finally I agreed to go and we jumped into her car and took off.  We got there about a half hour later and I was a bit nervous to go there since, again, I wouldn't know anyone there.  Of course, Miranda loves to mingle so I was left talking to other random people.  I heard several conversations while I was mingling and talking to different people, though there was one particular conversation that grabbed my attention.  There was a group of guys talking to one particular boy about his beard and how he should get a beard card when he went to BYU in the fall since his beard was way too amazing to shave off.  I thought it was a bit silly but didn't say anything about it.  He did have a rather large beard and I noticed he was wearing a do rag, a hat over that, and a t-shirt and jeans.  I didn't know what to think of the conversation only that I though it a bit silly.  I moved on though and I ended up talking to one boy (I don't even remember his name) about our missions.  The boy with the beard ended up in our little conversation and not too long after he did the other boy wandered off to another group.  I started talking to him and we intr
oduced ourselves.  This boy's name was Joshua and he was from a place not too far away in a tiny town called Firth.  He had come there because he knew the guy whose birthday it was from his mission as well.  We started talking about our missions and that's pretty much all we talked about. I was surprised by how comfortable and easy it was to talk to him and even give differing points of view without hesitation.  We talked for what didn't seem like a long time when all of a sudden Miranda is telling me it was time to go.  As I was about to leave I wondered if Joshua would ask me for my number since we had talked for quite a while and I had definitely enjoyed it.  I hoped he would and as I was about to leave he rushed over and he asked me if he could get my number.  I was glad he did and happily gave it to him.  Soon we left and took the half hour drive back home.  I had no idea then how much that bearded boy would change my life and how it would never be the same again.

The next segment will be our first date.  Stay tuned for more to come!

The Gift of Change

Anyone who knows me very well knows that my mind can travel to so many places in a matter of moments.  Not that there isn't direction to these thoughts, but they do seem like random tangents to people.  Mind traveling though is quite possibly one of my favorite things to do.  I love to travel to different lands and places that I have never been to and I just imagine what it would be like to actually be there.  I also enjoy thinking about things that are too strange to mention for fear that the person that I wish to discuss them with would either have no clue as to what I am talking about or they wouldn't see the importance of the subject that has kept my mind so captivated.  Right now I want to do something that I have never done before.  I want to write down what has been on my mind lately and let the world take a peek into my mind.  Anyone who is brave enough may dare keep reading further.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about change and what it has meant to me thus far in my life.  Before my mission I dreaded to even think the word "change" and I think God knew that all too well.  I think God has it in His mind that anything that causes anyone discomfort He must insure that that person endures it.  When I got the answer that I needed to serve a mission I was so sure that it was what I needed to do.  I remember calling my dad to tell him my news.  He was the first one to hear about it and when I told him he was so excited.  I remember him telling me that when I got home I would go straight to the doctors, get my physicals, and see the dentist immediately.  When he said "dentist" my mind immediately shut off and I immediately began to doubt if it was absolutely necessary for me to go on a mission.  Needless to say though, I did everything that I needed to do to prepare for my mission when I came home from school.  I will admit though that I did drag my feet.  I didn't want to go because it made me uncomfortable and I knew that this would change my life in ways that I didn't even then comprehend.  As we all know, I went on my mission and I went at the perfect time.  

On my mission we referred to transfers as "cambios", or "changes".  I had many of them and each one made me uncomfortable and unsure of what was going on.  Eventually though I got somewhat used to the seemingly constant transfers, but the Lord still made sure that I wasn't completely comfortable for too long.  Once I felt like I got used to everything I finished my mission and was sent home.  That was perhaps one of the most uncomfortable changes I have ever had to endure.  It was my biggest cambio and I wondered if I would ever get used to being home among such strange and foreign people.  Yes, it is strange to think that Americans, my own people, would seem more foreign to me than the people of Chile.  

After more than a year and a half of being home I still think about the many transfers I went through on my mission and I can't help but be grateful for them.  "Changes" or "cambios" were so hard because I didn't know anyone and I was expected to get along with my companion that I didn't know at all.  I was guaranteed six weeks with her and in the area but anything more than that was uncertain.  I trained myself not to get too close because who knew how long it would last?  I became a robot that didn't feel anything but just went through the motions.  

I went on to train an incredible missionary and was so stressed out and worried that I forgot how to feel.  I didn't get to finish her training and was "changed" to be in a trio that would change my entire mission.  Those two women taught me how to me a missionary and how to feel again.  The mission wasn't about going through the motions but to feel with everything that I am.  "There are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf.  I became a missionary and not just a robot.  The Savior did that for me and I am forever grateful for that change that happened in my life.  He filled me with His love and I don't know where I'd be without it.

In essence, change is a wonderful thing.  It is inescapable, inevitable, and remarkable.  It is very difficult to change and it is extremely uncomfortable at times, but it is necessary if we want to become the beings that God always intended us to be.  We didn't come here to be robots and just go through the motions, checking off commandments that we have accomplished and move on.  We have to give our hearts, our everything to the Lord and then He will fill it.  C.S. Lewis said it perfectly when he said, “Christ says, 'Give me All.  I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You.  I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it.  No half-measures are any good...  Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked - the whole outfit.  I will give you anew self instead.  In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours."  

I think part of the trick to life is allowing change to actually occur rather than fight against it.  Perhaps the new change in your life will bring you sadness and pain...or it could bring you happiness and joy beyond anything you could have imagined before.  I think it depends on your attitude and perspective.  Of course you will endure pain, but you will also experience joy and happiness.  What will you focus on?  That is all up to you.

There you go, a peek into my brain and my thought process.  I hope it was somewhat enjoyable though a bit long winded.  All I have to say is this: keep changing.  God never intended us to stay the same but exhorted us to "become new creatures"(Mosiah 27:26) and to "offer [our] whole souls as an offering unto him..." (Omni 1:26).  I know that if we trust in the Lord and rely on Him, everything will work out as it should.  He will help us change into the person we always wanted to be and who He always intended us to become.