The Gift of Change

Anyone who knows me very well knows that my mind can travel to so many places in a matter of moments.  Not that there isn't direction to these thoughts, but they do seem like random tangents to people.  Mind traveling though is quite possibly one of my favorite things to do.  I love to travel to different lands and places that I have never been to and I just imagine what it would be like to actually be there.  I also enjoy thinking about things that are too strange to mention for fear that the person that I wish to discuss them with would either have no clue as to what I am talking about or they wouldn't see the importance of the subject that has kept my mind so captivated.  Right now I want to do something that I have never done before.  I want to write down what has been on my mind lately and let the world take a peek into my mind.  Anyone who is brave enough may dare keep reading further.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about change and what it has meant to me thus far in my life.  Before my mission I dreaded to even think the word "change" and I think God knew that all too well.  I think God has it in His mind that anything that causes anyone discomfort He must insure that that person endures it.  When I got the answer that I needed to serve a mission I was so sure that it was what I needed to do.  I remember calling my dad to tell him my news.  He was the first one to hear about it and when I told him he was so excited.  I remember him telling me that when I got home I would go straight to the doctors, get my physicals, and see the dentist immediately.  When he said "dentist" my mind immediately shut off and I immediately began to doubt if it was absolutely necessary for me to go on a mission.  Needless to say though, I did everything that I needed to do to prepare for my mission when I came home from school.  I will admit though that I did drag my feet.  I didn't want to go because it made me uncomfortable and I knew that this would change my life in ways that I didn't even then comprehend.  As we all know, I went on my mission and I went at the perfect time.  

On my mission we referred to transfers as "cambios", or "changes".  I had many of them and each one made me uncomfortable and unsure of what was going on.  Eventually though I got somewhat used to the seemingly constant transfers, but the Lord still made sure that I wasn't completely comfortable for too long.  Once I felt like I got used to everything I finished my mission and was sent home.  That was perhaps one of the most uncomfortable changes I have ever had to endure.  It was my biggest cambio and I wondered if I would ever get used to being home among such strange and foreign people.  Yes, it is strange to think that Americans, my own people, would seem more foreign to me than the people of Chile.  

After more than a year and a half of being home I still think about the many transfers I went through on my mission and I can't help but be grateful for them.  "Changes" or "cambios" were so hard because I didn't know anyone and I was expected to get along with my companion that I didn't know at all.  I was guaranteed six weeks with her and in the area but anything more than that was uncertain.  I trained myself not to get too close because who knew how long it would last?  I became a robot that didn't feel anything but just went through the motions.  

I went on to train an incredible missionary and was so stressed out and worried that I forgot how to feel.  I didn't get to finish her training and was "changed" to be in a trio that would change my entire mission.  Those two women taught me how to me a missionary and how to feel again.  The mission wasn't about going through the motions but to feel with everything that I am.  "There are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf.  I became a missionary and not just a robot.  The Savior did that for me and I am forever grateful for that change that happened in my life.  He filled me with His love and I don't know where I'd be without it.

In essence, change is a wonderful thing.  It is inescapable, inevitable, and remarkable.  It is very difficult to change and it is extremely uncomfortable at times, but it is necessary if we want to become the beings that God always intended us to be.  We didn't come here to be robots and just go through the motions, checking off commandments that we have accomplished and move on.  We have to give our hearts, our everything to the Lord and then He will fill it.  C.S. Lewis said it perfectly when he said, “Christ says, 'Give me All.  I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You.  I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it.  No half-measures are any good...  Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked - the whole outfit.  I will give you anew self instead.  In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours."  

I think part of the trick to life is allowing change to actually occur rather than fight against it.  Perhaps the new change in your life will bring you sadness and pain...or it could bring you happiness and joy beyond anything you could have imagined before.  I think it depends on your attitude and perspective.  Of course you will endure pain, but you will also experience joy and happiness.  What will you focus on?  That is all up to you.

There you go, a peek into my brain and my thought process.  I hope it was somewhat enjoyable though a bit long winded.  All I have to say is this: keep changing.  God never intended us to stay the same but exhorted us to "become new creatures"(Mosiah 27:26) and to "offer [our] whole souls as an offering unto him..." (Omni 1:26).  I know that if we trust in the Lord and rely on Him, everything will work out as it should.  He will help us change into the person we always wanted to be and who He always intended us to become.

Have I done any good?

And I'm back to this blog writing thing.  I do admit at times I feel like there is nothing worth writing on this thing, but hopefully that is not the case.  This past while things have been a bit stressful on my end.  Life tends to do that to us every now and again.  I decided to change my major and that means grad plans and trying to figure out what my next move is going to be.  I've decided to be an International Studies major and I'm extremely excited.  Before you all start asking, "What are you going to do with that?" I'll just tell you I'm not sure yet.  The possibilities are enormous and I've got time to figure it all out. 

Amidst all the stress, fretting, and worrying about the future it's incredible how I really don't need to be worrying about it.  All I need to do is get busy doing the right thing instead of worrying about things I can't control.  Lately it seems like all I hear about is service and I love it.  Service to me is love in action.  How much service do you do?  How much are you worrying about how others treat you instead of how you are treating them?  Do you think more about yourself or more about others?  And my all time favorite question...Have I done any good in the world today?  I ask myself these questions all the time and I wish I could always have the right answer for all of them.  I don't want anyone to feel horrible about themselves if they feel like they've given the wrong answer to any of these because I know we all can do some improving, myself included.  If the answer to the question "Have I done any good in the world today?" is a no, I would invite all of us to respond in a positive way.  The answer comes in the chorus of that beautiful hymn.  It says, "Then WAKE UP!  And DO something more!"  Yes, we all can do just one thing more.  Wake up!  Look around you!  Get out of your slum, rut, or hole!  Life is a wonderful thing if we all help each other along.  President Thomas S. Monson said, "True joy comes by making others happy."  I know this is true because I have seen it in my own life. 

So, my challenge for all of us is this: do something today to edify, uplift, and strengthen those in our lives that need a helping hand.  I know that as we strive to lift, to serve, and edify each other in our lives that the storms of life will be that much more enjoyable. 

A bit of catching up

Okay, I realize I haven't been on this blog in...3 years?  Yes, more than 3 years.  I would try to catch up with ya'll but I fear that would take way too much time.  Suffice it to say I've had a busy 3 years.  The best part about it was...oh dear...considering my last post I should at least tell you a little bit of the story.  Okay people, prepare for the nutshell version!  Unless most of you know the story then just skip to the interesting stuff.

It actually started in October of that year of 2010.  I was really trying to decide what to do with my life and it really was quite difficult.  I had two friends on missions and I felt like I was floating through life with no purpose.  I decided to fast on it and ask the Lord what He wanted me to do.  So, on November 7, 2010 I fasted and asked the Lord what He would have me do.  To make it short the answer I got was a strong feeling that I needed to serve a mission.  That next semester I moved home and started my preparations to go on my mission.  It wasn't easy but finally on March 25, 2011 I got my call to serve in the Chile Concepción South Mission.  To put a year and a half in one sentence I had the best time of my life.  It was full of life changing events and I met and grew close to the best people I have ever known.

I came home a little over a year ago.  It was tough coming home but it was good for me.  The Lord was merciful and helped me find work soon after I returned and helped me be successful.  Right now, a year later, I'm at BYU-Idaho and I'm loving it.  It's quite cold here but it's an incredible place to be.  I still have my challenges and struggles, but who doesn't?

I'm excited to start blogging again.  I honestly had a hard time getting going on it again because I don't know who would be interested to listen to my words of wisdom or about my inspiring life, but maybe there is someone out there who will be.  For that one person I commend you!  Buckle up folks!  This may turn out to be quite a ride, but it will be worth it!  From here on out, enjoy!  Thanks for reading :)

How the time flies....

Hey there everyone! Shoot dang it's been far too long! Once again I apologize for my negligence with this thing. The past few months have been crazy. Actually, that's the only excuse I have an it's not even good. :) Oh well, here I am and I hope you enjoy this new post.

I am now 2 months into this new semester here at EAC. It's been kind of tough to be quite honest. Well, at the moment it feels like it's tough :) Don't worry ya'll I'm having a good time here I'm just sick of this place. This is my 4th year here and it's about time for me to move on I think. I don't know what I'll move on to but I'm considering my few options and trying to figure out what the Lord has in store for me. The age of decision is never easy and I hope I remember when I'm done with it how difficult this was for me.

During the month of September I said goodbye to a very dear friend of mine as she went on a mission. I won't see her for another 18 months. Joy Lynn will be the best sister missionary Bolivia has ever seen! :) I got a letter from her on Friday and she's doing great! She's so full of encouragement and love. She's turning into an amazing missionary. Just last week I said goodbye to my amazing friend Kaila as she went on her mission too. They're all leaving me!!! It's okay though because I know they are doing the right thing.

Anyway, things are going well. Remarkably life continues to go on no matter what you do. I love my life and I couldn't ask for anything better! I have the best family and the most fantastic friends anyone could ever hope for. I'm going to shoot out a very heartfelt thank you to all of you people in my life. You have all shaped me into who I am and I'll always be grateful for your love and support. I love you all and thanks again :) I probably won't write again for a while so hasta pastas! :D

Good Morning T-town!

Good morning T-town! It's not morning but as my cousin Becky once told me, "No matter what time of the day it is, it's always nice to have someone say 'good morning' to you." Now, I'm paraphrasing but that was the gist of it. What a beautiful day it is today too! It's sunny and 45 degrees outside, making all of you Idaho dwellers a bit envious of the Arizona weather. I woke up this morning feeling oddly cheerful and I haven't been able to shake it off. Since that isn't a bad thing I think I'll just run with it. :)

This has been a good semester so far. I'm taking a lot of good classes with great instructors and I'm learning more and more every day. I have awesome roommates again which is something that the Lord has blessed me with since Day 1. Don't know how I got so lucky but I've always had the best roommates. We have all the same girls as last semester with one exception. Kaella moved back home and Chanda Hunt from Snowflake took her spot at the Beach House. Kaella is missed but we love having Chanda here too.

As far as my classes go I'm taking band, child growth and development, music theory, aural perception, and an anthropology class. I've been able to stay caught up in most of my classes but aural perception (AP) has been giving me a run for my money. It's all good though I just need to practice at it. This past weekend I was able to go to Snowflake and see my family. David and the Emilys were there and it was awesome! We fooled all of you into thinking my dad was to be the new bishop since we were all home the Sunday we got a new bishop in our ward. Believe me, it wasn't intentional but still quite successful. :) On Monday after I got back we had a pancake eating contest at Denny's. I lost pitifully eating only 3 pancakes while my roommate Aubre beat us all and the record at Denny's by eating 12 pancakes. She was practically rolling out of that place. My roommate Hali came in a close 2nd eating 11 pancakes. You girls are awesome!

Well folks, my life is grand yet it's probably not as grand for you as it is for me. I don't have perfect days though, no one does. Just remember that when those days come to turn to the Lord and He always makes things better. He doesn't take it all away, but He definitely makes it better. I love you all and I hope you all have the good and the bad days. Bad days are always there for helping us appreciate the good in other days. With that, have a fantabulous day everyone! ;)
Before the competition...
And pretty much there :) Good job guys!

Merry Christmas to all! :D

Howdy do to all of you!

Yes, it's been a while so I thought it would be nice to have a happy greeting. :) Since I really don't do this very often I'm at a loss for what to say. Sometimes I read other people's blogs and I'm so lazy I don't read what they wrote and instead look at pictures and videos they put up for all to see. I feel so bad for all of you because I don't do that very often. I'm so sorry! This time, I'm going to be exciting and put up stuff so you don't have to read anything I write. Clever eh? :)

So, in case you guys aren't like me and you actually read what I put up here I'll tell you what's going on in my life. This past Monday my roommates, Jason Whetten, and I put up Christmas lights on our house and in our house. Plus we decorated the inside with snowflakes hanging on the ceiling, paper chains, tinsel, and other such Christmas decor. It was a lot of fun! Sometimes when a snowflake would fall from the ceiling I'd say, "It's snowing!" Hilarious, I know :) But really! It was such fun! Then...i went to bed. :)

Yesterday I gave a French presentation that went surprisingly well. I don't really like that class but I'm learning (slowly) to suck it up and just deal with it. I played on my harmonica "The First Noel" and it turned out to be a good call because they play the harmonica a lot in France. Yippie! I only messed up once but it still sounded pretty good. I'm trying to learn as many Christmas songs as I can so that maybe I can have something fun to play during Christmas.

Well friends, this is my life at the present! I confess I only wrote this post because I was bored. I hope you enjoyed it and the pictures! I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and that you don't forget the real reason for celebrating this holiday. Sure, Santa's a swell guy, but he doesn't compare to the Savior of the world being born. Not in my book anyway. :) Have a happy day everyone and I love you all! :D

Live for today, never regret your yesterdays, and look forward to tomorrow

Today, what a remarkable thing. There is no such thing as tomorrow, yet there is simply yesterday and today. Yesterday constantly speaks of things long gone, things never to obtain again as we go through life. The present is remarkable only because it is something we can work with and obtain, almost like a second chance. We must act as though our today is tomorrow and do things we won't regret once it's yesterday.

Okay, random thought is OVER! That was me trying to be deep and I hope I succeeded. This past month has been amazing. School is going well so far and I'm loving it. I'm working as hard as I can, even though sometimes I wish I could have lazy days all week long! Oh well, such is life. I'm also having fun which is good since everyone should spend time at work and time at play. Yesterday my roommates and I had a surprise party for our friend Jason Whetten. He's been so good to us all week that we decided to throw him a party for just being an incredible friend. Thanks again Jason for all you do for us! Also one thing that happened this week, our friend Jordan Beals reported to the MTC. It was a sad yet happy thing for all of us.

Other than all that life remains a mystery to me! The tomorrows that come are frightening yet exciting. I hope I have what it takes to make it in this world, since I'm still struggling to figure out what it is exactly what I want. I was so sure music was the answer, and perhaps it is. It's still a decision in the works and I hope i can do it.

Well friends, here is another tidbit in the fabulous life of Felicia McCleve! Stay tuned and we'll be right back after a loooooong break :D Love to all!